Champions League Knockout Round Day Two Preview:

Fiorentina vs. Bayern Munich

Overview: True story. My wife and I went with my parents to vacation in Lerici two years ago. We rented a house from a couple– an American and her husband. The husband, a local named Luigi, was fairly quiet as his wife was obviously much more at home in English and our Italian was… well, come on, we’re Americans and no one has taught us anything. Towards the end of the tour, they asked, “any questions?”

I replied, “yeah, is there anywhere I can watch the Inter-Parma match?” (Inter lead Roma by one point and this was the final week of the season– a weekend followed up by John Terry’s Champions League miss as seen from a small Italian bar on the Gulf of Poets — another story for another day.)

Luigi lit up, suddenly we were chatting football like crazy. Then it happened.

“Who’s your favorite Italian team?”

“I’m more a Premiership guy myself.”

“Well.. if you had to choose…”

“I guess I’d say Fiorentina.”

Luigi darkens. “Why do you like them?” Luigi asks me this flatly. Luigi has suddenly become very dispassionate.

“Ummm.. well, I really like Florence, and I like Mutu and Motolivo as players, and Sebastian Frey’s a pretty cool keeper…”

(no response)

I know before I ask. ”Who do you like?”

“Juventus.”

I’d read Winning at All Costs. I know what I’ve done…. you don’t go into another man’s house and innocently say you like their hated rivals… sorry Luigi.

It’s a good thing the conversation didn’t happen this year, because as much as I like Mutu and Montolivo, I LOVE Jovetic and Gilardino. I am transfixed by their play. I cheer their every successful move, I forgive their every mistake. In my mind they can do no wrong. Especially Gilardino.

Dave from Newcaste::Shola Ameobi as Steven M::Gilardino

Potential Mitigating Factor: I might as well be in Bill Swersky’s Superfans for this one. Gilardino versus Bayern Munich? Gilardino. Gilardino versus the robot team from Super Mario Strikers? Gilardino. So I may be overestimating Gilardino just a little bit. Oh, and there’s that little thing about the Violas being abjectly horrible in their last five matches. Oh, and Mutu is suspended (Luca Toni calling you “stupid” seems like unnecessary salt in the wound, I might add). Whatever. They still have Gilardino.

Key Player: Gianluca Comotto… Just kidding. Gilardino!

Key Matchup: Bolatti vs. Van Bommel. If either of these guys can shut down distribution, that could be decisive. Both also pack a decent shot from range and stretch the defensive shape, and both will probably find space given the skill players in the midfield that they play with.

Best Chance for Funny: I have deep respect for the Bundesliga, and I do wish German clubs were more in the mix deeper in the tournament than in recent years… but I absolutely love the “angry German director of football” shots we get any time that Bayern Munich struggles. Any time Bayern does anything wrong, it’s a mandatory shot for the tv crews to get either Beckenbauer or Rummenigge looking down from the stands and then a shot of the poor manager standing on the touchline helpless. It’s like a shot of Darth Vader and then one of his lackeys after a botched mission. Every scuffed free kick, every ill-advised foul, every goal conceded by Bayern… you can almost hear John Williams’ “Imperial March” as they cut away to the director’s box.

Final Answer: Gilardino! (And the ten other guys with the same colored shorts.) Can’t take ALL favorites, what fun would that be?

Arsenal vs. Porto

Overview: Arsenal seemed to have abandoned football for Survivor. Five more players out, Cesc Fabergas leaving for Barcelona, who will be the last person left? I have had a long-standing theory as to why Arsenal has failed to measure up to Chelsea and Manchester United the last few years: Arsenal are not as good at football. I know that should seem obvious, but I am an Arsenal supporter, and when I try this theory out on other supporters they look at me like I have an arm coming out of my forehead. This tournament is everything for Arsenal, but man oh man, are there some bad match-ups with the injury problems. Porto, for all of their weaknesses, definitely have a chance at this.

Key Player: Abou Diaby. He is inconsistent in the extreme. If we get good Diaby, it will mean Arsenal can cruise even with the people they are throwing out there. If we get bad Diaby…Hulk SMASH! (It was a long time coming.)

Key Matchup: Hulk/Falcao vs. Arsenal’s “Back line”. Arsenal’s defense is really tight… unless they’re defending a set piece… or a counterattack… or trying to play an offside trap… or trying to stop movement from the wide areas…

Best Chance for Funny: Nicholas Bendtner. How do you say “the ball is supposed to go inside the net!” in Danish? I’m passing up the obvious (”their forwards are named Hulk and Falcao – that’s a good time waiting to happen!” jokes because I suspect I might need to pull them out when Porto makes the quarterfinals).

Final Answer: I still think Arsenal will prove the better side over two legs… but not very sure. And I am very disconcerted about saying that when their lining up against a team that is way adrift of the top in Portugal.

Steven Maloney is a contributing writer for Glorious Football and a Professor of Political Science at the University of Saint Thomas in Saint Paul, Minnesota. He can be reached for comment at steven.maloney@gmail.com.

Written By Steven Maloney (58 Posts)

Steven Maloney is a regular contributor for Glorious Football. You can follow him on Twitter @stevenmaloney. Like Albert Camus, he fancies himself as having learned his morals "on the football pitch and in the theater." His football writing interests are in the institutional structures and strategies of world football, as well as the ways in which contemporary politics enters into the world of football and vice-versa. His most cherished memories of the game are of being in Holland for Euro 2000. In the interests of full disclosure, he supports Arsenal, the United States and DC United.