Let us pretend for a minute, gentle reader, that you are one Mr. Arsene Wenger. Your club, Arsenal FC, is in the midst of a major crossroads. Man City are breathing down your backside. Liverpool fell out of the big 4 and their backs are against the wall. Spurs are in the Champions League. David Moyes hovers in the near distance. Your club is facing a half decade without trophies… that would be the club that went through an entire Premier League season without losing a match under your leadership. You run the risk of falling out of the top 4 with another poor season.
And yet, the Premier League title is right there for the taking. While no one with even half-blind loyalty to another club could honestly say that someone other than Chelsea deserved the title last year, they hardly ran away with the thing. The league is stacked with good talent, and it makes automatic wins very difficult to come by. Which means the points needed to win is lower. Which means there’s an opportunity there. Heck, while we’re at it, you are no slouches in the Champions League either. Finalists four years ago, semi finalists two years ago. Sure, no trophies for that, but not many clubs in the entire continent have a better four year portfolio in the tournament.
So here you are. You have brought Chamakh and Koscielny to the side already and promised more to come. Your captain and passing genius is threatening to go to Barcelona, who are willing to pay big bucks to get him. When he has gone out with injury, the club seems to play with a little bit more fire than when he is there… call it the Michael Ballack effect. To be fair, it is better to have Fabergas on the field than on the bench… but it really might not be better to have him on the field than to have the people you could buy with his money on the field instead.
Let’s say you sell Cesc for a big chunk of money.
As of right now, your first XI looks like this:
GK: Almunia
BACK LINE: Sagna (RB) Koscielny (CB) Vermaelen (CB) Clichy (RB)
DEFENSIVE MID: Alex Song
CENTRAL MIDFIELD: Samir Nasri
WIDE PLAYERS: Andrei Arshavin, Tomas Rosicky
STRIKERS: Marouane Chamakh, Robin van Persie
So, the question is, what do you do with the money?
My suggestion: 3 Diegos, a Dutchman, and a Belgian wonderkid.
First a little primer on World Cup buying: Two of the big surprises of the 2002 World Cup were the United States and Senegal. After the tournament, Bayern Leverkusen recalled young talent Landon Donovan and Liverpool threw down some big bills to get El-Hadj Diouf. They were young, speedy players whose energy shone through on the world stage. Meanwhile, Fulham FC got two important water-carriers from these sides: Pap Bouba Diop and Brian McBride. Diouf and Donovan were busts for their clubs, whereas Diop and McBride were integral to the early overachieving years at Fulham FC. The lesson: buy the cars that got teams places, not their sports cars in the window.
So who are the three Diegos? Well obviously one of them is Diego Forlan… obviously not that is. He is a sports car in the window right now. Too expensive.
No, I suggest Arsene go shopping for Diego Perez, Diego Lugano, and Diego Benaglio. All three had great tournaments, but all three are hardly five star buys. Lugano and Perez are older players. But this is your year to make or break. Plus, you’re Arsenal; a lack of supply of young talent is not your concern. Diego Perez currently plays for Monaco, don’t you have some sort of Monaco connection? Make this happen! If you acquire Diego Lugano, you get a leader in the back for your new defense, plus you get the proper hair balance between his beautiful brown locks and Vermaelen’s baldness.
The logic for Diego Benaglio is simple. Diego Benaglio is Wolfsburg’s #1 who shut down Spain in the World Cup. Manuel Almunia is Arsenal’s #1 who Spain would never in a million years let on the field for an international.
The Dutchman is someone I know you, as Arsene Wenger, are already looking at, Van der Viel. He’s not Robben. He’s not Sneijder. He’s just a guy who has given Holland some width and been part of their formidable defensive set up. Clichy makes too many rash decisions out of the back in the Premier League to start on a title winner. Go get Van der Viel and get Clichy out of that first eleven.
The Belgian is… wait, what does a Belgian have to do with the World Cup? Have you seen their roster? Proto – GK (26 yo), Vermaelen – CB (24 yo), Kompany – CB (24 yo), Anthony Vanden Borre – MF (22 yo), Jan Vertonghen – MF (23 yo), Eden Hazard – MF (19 yo), Moassa Dembele – F (22 yo), Romelu Lukaku – F (17 yo).
So?
So!?!? How can you say “so?”??!?!?!?!
What does that have to do with the World Cup?
Belgium aren’t in the World Cup!
Right, so what do they have to do with it?
They are not in this World Cup. They have a VERY golden looking generation. If you want to buy any of these guys before they look good in international finals, you have to do it NOW. I have a strong suspicion that by Euro 2012, all these guys will be much more expensive. Time to get Eden Hazard while people are watching a World Cup without him. Also, let’s pick up Proto as a backup to Benaglio.
But Eden Hazard has already been dubbed “Belgian Messi” or “Little Messi.”
How can someone be a “little Messi?” Isn’t that like calling something a “small microorganism?”
You are missing the point. The point is that if you have a name like that, you probably have hype and a high price.
Fair point. But consider the difference in price between being dubbed “Little Messi” and proving it at Euro 2012.
Fair point as well.
Thanks.
Welcome.
Okay, so, now let’s look at our new Arsenal squad:
GK: Benaglio
BACK LINE: Sagna (LB), Vermaelen (CB), Lugano (CB), Van der Viel (RB)
DEFENSIVE MID: Diego Perez
CENTRAL MID: Samir Nasri
WINGERS: Arshavin and Rosicky
FORWARDS: Chamakh and van Persie
BENCH: Proto, Hazard, Bendtner, Song, Eboue, Koscielny, Diaby
RESERVES: Walcott, Wilshere, Ramsey (please God!), Vela, Clichy
Hey, not bad! Wouldn’t it be nice to go to bed dreaming about introducing Messrs. Drogba and Rooney to our new defensive trio of Uruguayan/Belgian manliness and our goalkeeper who denied Spain repeatedly? As opposed to the nightmare of saying, “Drogba, meet William Gallas! Oh, you’ve met before… hmmm… uhhh.. meet Mikel Silvestre… no wait!! don’t do that!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”
It’s wake up time Mr. Wenger. I get you. I know that you like to play with your trio in the center in defense and push up with everyone else. I know that you haven’t had the personnel that you did lately. There are some good buys out there who will get the job done. Go and get them, Arsene, and do it your way. Get them at a good price. Don’t overpay. Hey, maybe you still won’t win, but let’s see some Arsenal football out there. Go put a stamp on this season. Put down your marker, and if you lose, fair play to the champion. That’s all your adoring public wants.
Forget Cesc, I already am waiting with baited breath to buy my Diego Lugano poster… and… ummm… not because of his beautiful hair and piercing eyes. No! Not that! Because we will not be soft! We will be tough in the tackle and icy in demeanor. If one of them happens to be a little hunkish as well… whatever it takes to win, right?
Written By Steven
Maloney
(80 Posts) |
Loading ...